You'd never know by looking at this picture by Amy that Jenny is my own personal "Pastor of Disaster", only a few will get this but that's okay just know that I say it with affection.
I participate in a small mentoring group with Jenny and two other ladies of my church, Andrea & Lori. I feel very blessed...is that a "churchy" saying or what... but it's how I feel to have gotten a chance to know these 3 women better.
Anyway... last night Jenny gave us an assignment to journal and I was debating if I should do that here or in a Word document. I think sharing some of my innermost thoughts in a public form like this would scare the crap out of most of you, at the very least you would shake your head next time you saw me in person. So for the bulk of my journal, I'll handle that off-line.
One topic I feel I can safely post about in public is to journal about the enemy, as in "who is my enemy". I know Jenny is headed to "Lucifer is the enemy" and how his influence in our lives plays out but I'm having a hard time grasping that one. My current belief is that Lucifer is real, that he led 1/3 of the angels in heaven in a battle to be God. That he lost, badly. He was cast out of heaven and given some level of control over the earth and humans.
Here are my questions:
Control to do what? Does he really want our souls? To do what with? Is this a game he plays, a way to say to God..."Ha Ha got one of Your's? How can he have one of God's children...if he has us, were we ever really God's?
More over... Lucifer never wanted earth or the people on it.
What he wanted was to be God. So how does getting our souls accomplish that? Is it our souls he wants now in a compromise for not being God or is it still his plan to be god like? Does he invade our lives in such a manner that we look to him and our actions make him a god? When we sin does that mean we are treating him like a god?
So should I be wary that he is going to steal my soul or that he will corrupt my day to day worship in such a manner that I'm unknowingly serving him and not Jesus as I think I am.
So far I've gone from a place that Satan was a benign being in the world to questioning his motives for my soul... this obviously requires a bit more thought and study, so that's where I'm going to leave this....
Jenny keeps me on my toes, that's for sure! My spiritual life isn't a disaster but I think I was headed for that before I started mentoring with her.
2 comments:
Great post! What fabulous questions! I kinda view Satan as "hating God" because Satan didn't get his way. So now he wants to corrupt the beauty and love that God put in this world, starting with His own children... us! And Satan may be trying to rule over man... but the good news is that the end of the battle has already been told in the Bible. When our world as we know ends, then God will throw "our enemy" into a fiery pit for eternity (see Revelations). The battle was already won for us when Jesus died for us. We're God's children and even if Satan tries to meddle with us (which he can because it's a fallen broken world and we're broken people with a predisposition to sin), in the end we still win and he loses. Great discussion topic! And good for you for digging deep and asking hard questions! I've never been a fan of "blind faith" (ie: blindly following because that's what you should do). Faith is stronger when it's built on digging for answers... and as I dig deeper, God shows himself more and more to me. It's awesome!
Hey! I thought Jenny was my personal pastor of disaster! But I do love that pic of her and I have a second level of caring for you. I'm glad you are wrestling with these questions. I am too.
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